December 5, 2012

Today marks a year since I received a call at work that my mammogram and ultrasound taken three days earlier showed suspicious areas.  The medical people wanted me to have an MRI to see what that would show.  This was the start of what would be a very challenging year for me.  Now that I am at "anniversaries," I can't help but stop and reflect on this past year.

I will say that at the outset, I did not like to say the word cancer.  Not sure why that was, because I was not in denial.  I think it was more of not liking to think about the seriousness of my situation.  Other people get cancer, not me.

Now, I have a rightful pride in saying that I have indeed battled cancer the past year.  It is an accomplishment to get through major surgery (mine about 7-8 hours), chemotherapy, and radiation therapy.  It is by God's grace that I got through those things as well as I did.  It seems that what I heard most from my colleagues and friends was that I still was able to smile in spite of things.  I attributed my calmness, my peace, to God.

I have commented to more than one person that I think it is wrong to give cancer survivors the idea that if they survive five years after their diagnosis, they are set.  They have won the battle.  Why do I think this is wrong?

1)  Cancer survivors will always be checked to see if cancer has returned.
2)  Cancer does return, even after a cancer survivor passes that five-year mark.

I read entries on the discussion boards the American Cancer Society has.  I see individuals devastated that the disease has returned.  I think these individuals are not Christians, whose trust is in God.  Reading what they share is sad.  They have no hope in what lies ahead for them, should they die; their hope was in medicine, and it has let them down.

I hope that lessons I have learned this past year I will be able to share with others in the future who find themselves in my situation.  God is faithful and He is good.

Yes! A Good Report

I remember the day I was to start chemo and didn't because of spots that had appeared on a CT scan done the end of March.  For a good part of that day, what the oncologist was going to do was not settled.  Should I go up to Syracuse for a PET scan?  Will chemo be a different mix of drugs?

Dr. Benjamin and the radiology doctor decided that the spots were too small for a PET scan to do any good in determining whether or not those spots were cancerous.  (If they were, then my stage would be dropped to IV, which is the first stage of the incurables.)  The radiologist believed that the spots were nothing unusual.  These things sometimes show up in a body after surgery. 

So, the decision was that I go ahead with chemo the following week.  In July, after I finished chemo, I would have a CT scan to see if those spots were still there.

When I went to Dr. Benjamin's office for my first follow-up appointment, he had the results from the newer CT scan.  He said that the spots were no larger.  There were no additional ones.  The fact that they had not disappeared as a result of the chemo was also positive.  He was not yet ready then to say that we are in the clear; I could get my port out.  I would have one more CT scan before my December appointment.  If the spots had not grown, then he would no longer consider them a problem.  I could get my port out.

Today was that appointment.  The spots were gone!  I can get my port out next month -- something that has been a part of me since the end of March.  I am seeing another milestone about to be reached, and I am excited.

God is good.  The spots are gone!