This month I have had a few difficult days due to the side effects that accompany my taking taxol. I developed a pesky, but manageable cough. Taking deep breaths was a problem for me. Initially I thought I was in trouble and would have my infusions postponed because of that. BUT, there were no signs of pneumonia, and I did not have a temperature. It just was the taxol because it can increase mucus production, my oncologist said.
My first really difficult run of days occurred the end of last month, the week after one of my infusions. It was VBS week at church, and I am the chairperson of the Christian Education Committee. I wanted to have a sense of how things were going. I would go down to the church for the closing part of the morning and sit in the back to watch (and stay away from germy people!). By Friday, I was dragging, but I went down for the closing program and stayed for the picnic. To walk out to the gray building, where the food was being served, I knew to take my time. I did not want to get winded or else I would start coughing -- not just the pesky cough. I found a chair out there, behind the serving table, and I sat. I did manage to eat a hot dog and that was about it. After things died down, I took my time walking back to my car. I did not realize that I did not look all that good that day until someone told me afterwards.
By Sunday, I was coughing terribly. If I wanted to move anywhere in the house, I had to do it very slowly. To go from the living room to the kitchen was difficult. I went out in the late afternoon, after Dennis had gone to evening church, to make me a grilled cheese sandwich in the kitchen. Once I got to the kitchen, I had to stop and catch my breath. When I did that, it triggered some gut-wrenching coughing. Because it did that, it made me have to catch my breath, which resulted in that coughing continuing. I had to force myself to not cough deeply and just regain control. Once I did, I was set for making my sandwich and then very slowly making my way to the recliner. I did not want to find myself needing to catch my breath.
This was a fine way to spend our anniversary -- #17. I remember writing on my card for Dennis that we had vowed to remain faithful to each other "in sickness and in health." He has been so good to me (although we did startle the pastor's wife a few weeks ago at prayer meeting when he said to me, in front of her, that he was going to have to trade me in since I was now defective). I can't begin to imagine what has run through Dennis's mind through all of this. I am thankful that one of his best friends, Brian, understands. I don't doubt they have talked.
That night was also the annual fireworks show in town, the night we tend to have lots and lots of people come up to watch them from our backyard. We decided we would still have people come up to watch the fireworks. I just would stay inside. (Julie and Debbie came up to help with some of the preliminaries, like grilling the hot dogs.) I don't think as many people came as usual -- probably out of deference to me, as they knew I had not been at church that day. When the fireworks began, I did slowly walk out to the deck and sat out there to watch them.
The next day was chemo day. I still was not doing all that well. I figured that once I got to the oncologist, he could help me. Sure enough, everything was good to go for chemo. I did not have pneumonia or anything. My oncologist had me get an OTC one-a-day allergy pill. By Monday evening, I was doing much better. I took the allergy meds for a few days just to be sure.
I went through chemo week well. I did still have the pesky cough. I did have the usual aching bones and joints for a few days; but nothing out of the ordinary until the following Friday morning, the day I was to go for a blood draw in order to see if I was good to go for chemo on Monday. I woke up with that gut-wrenching cough. This time I really did not feel well. After Dennis left for work, I ended up puking up mucus in the hallway -- easy to clean up. I wondered if I should call the oncologist, although I was to be there about 9:30. This was a day in which I was exceedingly glad that I had a driver. Carol picked me up on schedule. I tossed in a plastic container in case my coughing triggered that same response as earlier.
We got to the office, and they checked me in, doing all the usual things. This time I did have a temperature. I told them about my difficulties that morning. If I moved slowly, I was ok. So, the oncologist had be get a different allergy pill as well as mucinex. He also decided to put me on a five-day regimen of an antibiotic. He did not think I was showing signs of pneumonia, but he just wanted to keep it that way. So, after I gave my blood, Carol and I headed out.
We stopped at Rite Aid so I could pick up my antibiotic plus the other two things. In that store I really did not feel well. Carol had come in with me to help me find the allergy meds and mucinex. My prescription was not yet ready as the pharmacist had not yet gotten the call from my doctor. I had waited in line and thought for sure I was going to black out. The walls looked pixilated. What was holding me up was the small cart Carol had given to me while she went back to get another one for herself. Knowing I was going to need to wait -- and not trusting myself to be on my feet, I went over to the seating at the pharmacy and waited. The line at the pharmacy had died down and the pharmacy people knew where to find me. Finally I got the prescription, paid my bill, and slowly went out to the car where Carol was. Once in the car, I yanked off my hat to cool down. It did not matter to me that I was bald everywhere and that Carol had not seen me that way at church because I'd wear either a hat or wig. I did not feel all that great.
I got home, took my meds, and then stretched out in the recliner. Anything happening that day was going to be left up to Dennis. I was not ready to do a thing. As last time, by evening, I was feeling much better. My goal was to be able to do chemo on Monday. That was to be my final infusion. I wanted this to be over. Dennis and I had plans for the end of the month and their working would hinge on how all of this played out.
Questions to be answered:
1) Will I finish chemo on time?
2) Will that final infusion go smoothly?
3) Will I have a problem with that gut-wrenching coughing again, the week after chemo?
4) Did the plans for the end of the month go on without a problem?
Check back later.
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