A Dose of Reality

Yesterday was a day that could be summed up like this:

1)      A dose of reality

2)      A complication

Reality was going to the hospital for pre-op testing:  urine, blood, EKG, x-rays, meeting with a nurse, meeting with a “Cancer Navigator,” meeting with the anesthesiologist.  Reality was getting more pamphlets and brochures on the subject of cancer/breast cancer.  Reality was meeting in the afternoon with the surgeon and hearing the surgery itself would last 4-5 hours . . . that the incision would go from arm pit to arm pit . . . that lymph nodes would be taken from the left side . . . that I could have to deal with swelling in my left arm long after the surgery because of that . . . I would be wrapped tightly in ace bandages . . . I was reminded in my own heart and mind that this is indeed a big deal.  I was glad Dennis was with me for the meeting with the surgeon.

Complication was finding out that the cyst on my back, which has been there for years, was not just irritated but also a bit infected.  This meant that surgery would wait.  This meant that right there, Dr. Bang would lance the cyst and work at cleaning out the mess in that cyst.  This cyst is on a TO DO list for later, as it needs to be excised; but it got bumped out of immediate contention because of more pressing health issues.   The current “fix” is just a temporary one.  The shots did not deaden all of the pain and discomfort I felt as the DR pressed and pushed out the stuff in that cyst.  I could not sense much, as I was under cloths that the DR put over my head and lower back; but Dennis said the smell of the stuff was putrid, getting to the DR a few times.  Dennis was fascinated with what he saw coming out of that small incision on my back.  The cyst runs deep.  I was sent home with gauze IN the incision plus gauze and tape covering the incision area.  I was given a prescription for an antibiotic.  I was hurting, and so I walked very slowly out of that office with an appointment to return Thursday to see how things are progressing so that we can set a new date for the surgery.  Dr. Bang wants the infection gone, even if the incision is not yet healed, before we do the other surgery.

I have gotten used to having to wait so many times through this journey that I guess I wasn’t all that let down with what happened today.  I think, though, that what lies most on my mind is the surgery itself and what it will mean for me.  I am a little afraid of it all, although I know that God will enable me to rest in Him.

This morning the teacher I work with, a good friend of mine, took the time to pray for me.  I was at school, but I was physically hurting somewhat all day.  I knew I belonged at school, but I also knew I was going to be somewhat slower than usual and a bit stiffer than usual.  I needed the diversion.  I am thankful for working with Lori, my friend, my colleague, my sister in the Lord.  She is a ready ear for me when I am struggling through these uncharted waters.