Another Reality Check

Today I was given another reality check – the name of my oncologist and the date I meet with him.  Wow!  This physician is associated with Upstate in Syracuse, which has expanded its cancer program significantly.  Initially my appointment was for Monday, but I prefer to have Dennis along.  Since these physicians work between Syracuse and Cortland, they are not in town every day of the week.  So, I had the appointment moved to February 20, the day before my surgery.

What runs through my mind:

• ·    I am not sure what I think when I am put in touch with cancer survivors who are ready to help me along.
• ·     I am not sure what I think when I am told I have another doctor to add to my list, an oncologist.  It makes me think more about my treatments – will I have to do chemo or will I be able to do something else?
• ·     Right now, I am just not caring for PINK.  Makes me seem a disloyal sister to the cause, as pink is associated with breast cancer; but really, I am not ready to embrace it  --“advertise” that I am one of them

I said to my friend Lori today that I am just not caring for pink right now AND that I am tired of getting cancer stuff in the mail.  Maybe this is my way of working through things, as otherwise, I seem to be doing all right.  It does make me wonder if other people get inundated with materials about their diseases too . .